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Leed · Sep 21, 2012, 04:59 PM

You were right in not trying to talk to him. It wouldn't have done any good.

It would be smart to try agian in the morning, when he is reasonably sober. Wait until he's had some coffee (if he drinks it) or his orange juice or whatever. Then sit down and talk.

Remember that you have to follow up your words with ACTION. You cannot weaken, and let him stay if he doesn't get help or whatever it is you expect him to do. You can't just tell hiim "Positive changes" because he might think that is putting on clean clothes!!! He will use those words "positive changes" to HIS benefit. You have GOT to be very specific!!! You have GOT to tell him "go to NA or AA" or a therapist -- that's the only thing that will work. Otherwise, you might as well not make your speech at all. But you've got to stand strong and if he doesn't do it, you've got to throw him OUT!!! Set a date for when he's GOT to do this (make it SOON)and if he doesn't do it, out he goes.

No more enabling him because he's killiing himself. You'll really be helping him -- so don't weaken. I know how hard it is, cause i've had to do this with my son. It broke my heart. Now he's home due to liver failure, after almost dying 2 months ago. He's been sober ever since and says he's done drinking as he doesn't want to die (and the doctors say he WILL if he drinks again).

Best of luck and God bless. Hugs, Lee