Thank God you have your 20yr old son. I'm glad you have SOMEONE. You can do all this on your own!
Is the grandmother YOUR mother or his father's mother? At any rate, I'm sorry.  Is the 16yr old close to his grandma? Will he be hurt badly when she's gone?
I REALLY wish I was there to help you. I'm pretty good with teens. But keep posting -- you need someone to talk to and an outlet. God bless my friend, and please take care of YOU. Hugs, Lee 
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The truth shall set you free but first it will make you miserable..........................................Garfield
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