Thats interesting about the OCD. That is a thought. It sounds like u can't get over the thoughts of your xt. That would be the obsession. From someone who has severe OCD, I know that OCD takes something that causes u stress or hurt, twists it/magnifies it, and then turns it into an obsession. Not always is there a compulsion.

Remember that your feelings are legit. You are hurting from the loss of your t. But it is that much worse because of how OCD is making it. Does that make sense?? when you have the urge, go do something. Acknowledge the thoughts, say "this is not me. This is OCD making me think ______". Then immediately go distract yourself. Do pushups, watch a movie, go online. But the quicker u do something else, the sooner the thoughts will subside. It's a battle of will.

If you have a doc, I suggest talking to him about trying an OCD med. or at least an anti anxiety, if you arent alrready on one...

I'm here! I really wanna help you. You aren't alone.