I've been having really atypical hypomania all week, and it's really confusing me. I normally have very brief episodes only lasting a few days, but they are generally textbook hypomania, with lack of sleep, racing thoughts, euphoria, etc.

THIS WEEK however, I've had the weirdest episode, that also happens to be my longest episode yet. Okay, so prior to this, I had a 2 1/2 week long depressive episode where I was feeling very suicidal. I started to pull out of it this past sunday, and have been hypo ever since. But, like I said, it's kind of atypical.

For one, my sleep has been totally unaffected. Like, I'm less tired during the day for sure, in fact I feel like I'm on a caffeine rush, but I've been able to get a full nights sleep every night this week. Usually I wake up after an hour or two wide awake feeling fully rested. When I wake up after a full nights sleep, I am UP, like super charged and super hyperactive with rapid speech, racing thoughts, and easily triggered laughter; all of course very typical hypomania traits. In fact, today, while I still felt hypomanic, I thought I was starting to come down. I felt tired after school today and took a nap, sure that I was officially out of the episode, however I woke up just now feeling just as hypomanic as I was before. It basically feels like my hypomanic body is trying to make up for all lost waking hours I missed when I was asleep and so I wake super charged.

I also seem to be a bit more controlled when I'm around people. Like at school, I still feel really hypo, but if I'm focusing on a project or talking with someone it's not really apparent to them as an observer, like I seen pretty stable. The second I'm alone again I'm jumping all over the place, laughing, with racing thoughts. No idea why this is.

I saw my pdoc wednesday, who was kind of freaked out by how much I was shaking my legs and arms when I had to sit still. She took me off of prozac, and doubled my dose of lamictal, but didn't give me a different antidepressant to replace the prozac. None of this has really affected me yet, as I'm still just has hypo as I was before the med change. She said she's considering changing my diagnosis to bipolar II given the duration of this episode, but that she wanted to see how I did with the med change first. (I'm currently dx'd with cyclothymia by my therapist, NOS by my pdoc lol)

Because this hypomania is so weird, it makes me wonder if I'm not even hypomanic, if I'm just hyper. But then again, I've never been hyper like this for a week straight, and it feels just like hypomania, just without the sleep. I've also been yawning all week for some reason, even though I'm not tired at all during the day. I don't know, I'm just sitting here crawling in my skin right now, not really sure what's going on with me. sorry for the long rant.