|
Sep 21, 2012, 08:45 PM
|
|
|
|
Member Since: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,075
|
|
i am still searching for a job in my state and i just applied to a job in the mall. i am unaware of what kind of work i should be seeking. i have been attending therapy sessions through the state's money with my food stamps for several weeks and been enjoying it.
of course, that is not something i am gonna tell an employer. i told my therapist how my spirit within me was killed when i was 10 yrs old of brainwashing, lots of lies about life and people, been told to not work because things are paid for by both parents mostly mother, becoming a mute at a young age (speak when spoken too), etc.
life was not full of peaches or cherries. i have taken a number of career assessments in my life, i do not find them that fascinating. they only pertain if you have already have the experience, working at the job currently, or going to school for it. i saw things in it that i already knew and most things i would not dream of doing like science (unless it pertains to herbal health but too much terminology).
growing up, i have done IT all my life with some creativity. i would like to do more with creativity and mix it with technology, i just know the old technology and do not feel i can keep up with the newer rapid changing technology.
IT was forced upon me by my mom insisting to my dad that "her daughters" are not "dumb women who should use an easy bake oven all of her life and can do a lot with men in the real world." that is coming from someone who never held a job in over 30 yrs! the newer stuff in technology now really interests me.
i always wanted to be a game designer but programming has too much math and was always a flunky in math, but i loved the drawing just didnt go to school for it cuz my dad wouldn't pay that kind of money. i ended up going to a community college that was hell! i have an AAS Network Administrator degree, no certs too costly, and most of IT is outsourced plus entry level is over 5 yrs experience but i have no field work experience just life experience but i found out now since i did this as i guess a hobby with my dad it does not count as experience (over 17 yrs) because i was not getting paid.
yea, an IT manager i interviewed with my ex college told me she wouldnt hire me because it was paid work and i didnt have any field work behind me. my therapist suggest i volunteer to give me a sense of reward, i dont disagree with that but i told her how am i gonna get there? we had a fire incident 2 yrs ago, i maxed out my checking account and have to restart all over again. i also told her there is nothing close knit in where we live you need a car to get around. no, i do not live in the boonies i live in a city near the capital but the capital takes 20-30 mins by car to get there almost an hour by bus!
i am 26 yrs old with no kids and at the stage of trying to find out who i am. we discussed this in the therapy session a few days ago. i find nothing out there in the job market that is fulfilling now and tired of waiting on these employers/gov to get their stupid act together. my only experience is retail which i hated bagging groceries and left the company on bad terms in jan 06.
i have been seeing for a couple of years is big, something big like big money. i dont know not sure how to point it out. i have no other skills like cooking, knitting, sewing, those are too quiet for me not the cooking part - barely have skills in cooking. i havent made things creatively since i was a child.
no, my parents didnt prepare me for work nor the real world hence is why i am trying to see how to recreate myself. i had tons of business ideas but not sure how to do it. i took up web design but have not finished it because i have the old adobe suite which i need the newest one out there and with no means of money, i cant get it. i would never ask anyone to get it for me i would rather buy it myself.
i told my therapist how embarrassing this is to relearn everything when these things should have been taught. she wants me to heal and get this huge cloud of shame/guilt out of me for good so i can move on. she is not a career therapist she is just a family therapist. i barely have enough money/gas to get across town to see her since i am using my boyfriend's addy for my food stamps cuz i do not want it come to my house in the city i live because it would cause a battle of the civil war with my parents about why i use food stamps when it was their idea to get it until i find something!
i have been reading articles on making money with no job/money and confused. i am so confused by what i am reading and i told my therapist how my determination/motivation has always been zero or a 2 in my life unless it was a fat paycheck i was patient. i told her i go in and out of motivation/determination as i told her in previous sessions how i do not know what those words mean nor were they taught to me.
yea, its a background of what went on in my life to now as to why i couldnt keep a job after i left my first job in 06 one was because mostly a lack of resources from professionals and career centers how they told me the wrong info which i thought was correct info and i did ask other professionals they confirm it was the correct info. i am fighting out later on 2 yrs ago attending workshops how things about jobs and job markets were taught so wrong in high school and college.
2nd reason is because of my mom saying i dont need a job to be independent to i need a job to be independent which is it?! also, it's because i do not feel i could do a good job in anything and in therapy, we talked about the guilt/shame i carried in my life which is a whole laundry list of it! i am not sure what will steer me in the right direction to be away from the corporate world since no job wants to hire me, yea i have 2 jobs. only one is on my resume and the 2nd one i was there for a week yea i know it looks bad.
i have linkedin which is god awful in terms of the kind of career/job advice i get to useless professionals boasting about things they did in the dinoasaur era which i dont care about, to them being unemployed is fun because they have a pension/401k-403b/retirement, lack of info, negative, etc which is why i do not use/like linked in! other business social sites are not so active like linkedin is so i dont go on those either and facebook is even worse!
ive had professionals on fb and linkedin send me stuff on business opportunities which i ask where the hell (did not use hell when speaking to them) am i gonna get the money to start/run the business? they wanted me to jump on board with their companies (mostly MLMs or companies that i never heard of) which their values did not match mine whatsoever! i have my own ideas which i want to use i do not want to get on board with their ideas/companies as they were pushing to be on board which only benefited them not me anyway i am very immune to that!
volunteering is out of the question. as i said many times, my main concern is money and how i am gonna support myself free work will not do it so dont suggest something that will not my finances (zero) or age. if i cant get there i dont volunteer and no i dont ask anyone to take me there. networking events are the same way cant get there no point until i have money for gas or a bus pass!
i am doing things my way and looking at other avenues. i have talked to a career coach she was nice and felt i should work to gain more experience b4 i start a business. after that was over, i thought the boy at 13 who created angry birds has no life experience or job experience look at what he produced and made millions too!   
i am just out of options as i dont know what to do. since i am in the process of rebuilding myself as stated before, what exactly do i do? id like to be in control not someone else. i am looking for work now just to get some kind of money in plus i need to update my skills but i am so stressed and not focus its hard to do. i have a legal dispute against me, 2nd college wants their money back and i need to pay them back. i went back to school (realized that was a lie later on) to get another degree in web design, these schools are just teaching out of date info!
any suggestions? hopefully that will lead something that id like to do not WHAT someone thinks i should! i was hoping to get into IT after college but that didnt happen after the huge hit happen in 08. things are not getting any better just worse but that is my opinion of this depression. i have been to every workshop and workforce connection they have no real answers i was told your young you can wait until the economy gets better. what kind of crap advice is that? yea, professionals have told me that!!
|