I've been working hard in therapy, noticing a lot of stuff coming out I hadn't counted on rising up this intensely. I am really amazed at how hard it can get.

The thing is, at the moment everything in my life seems to be a freakin' trigger!!! I catch myself doing this disorienting mental dance inside where everything I read, hear, listen to, talk about is suddenly a highway to "all my non-depressed feelings are totally invalid, I am invalid, everything I love and aspire to is a mirage, nothing makes sense anymore, existence is chaos". I am beginning to feel like I am just drowning in negative perceptions of self and the world itself, facing all my worst fears all at once!

I do NOT know what to do about this. I feel like I just crossed some threshold I can't ever retreat over again. Is this a good sign? I think so, I am able to challenge this on a level I never expected, but why does it have to hurt THIS much!?!? I am losing my mind.