Usually when I cut I feel a little more in control for a little while. I don't know why. But lately its been getting out of control. I do it all the time and it's getting pretty bad. Getting hard to hide. And I feel bad because I've been lying to my t for a while now. She doesn't really focus on si, but back in March she had me sign a contract that I would call her if I was thinking about si, or be honest about it in our sessions if I had done it that week. I haven't done that at all for a long time. She asks me every once in a while how I'm doing with it and I always tell her I'm fine, and she never pushes me. But I feel horrible for lying. I'm sure she can see right thru me. She will be so mad if I tell her I've been lying. But I think I need to tell her because its gotten so bad. Idk what to do