so you want HER to do something else, ie model some different behavior for you, because YOU don't know any other way to behave? Is that what you're saying in your notes? Hasn't she been acting in "other ways" the whole time she's been with you, but you never picked up on them? You only noticed when she stopped accommodating you, and instead she echoed your behavior. Now, like two magnets of the same polarity, you repelled each each other. You want her to go back to acting the "other way". Why don't YOU act the other way - the end result will be the same, you won't repel each other. It would be an interesting experiment. It might give you some sympathy for her side, which I don't see in your notes right now, I just see criticism. If you're gonna criticize somebody, you should be ready and able to do their job better than them, no? That's how it was in my family. I criticized them them for not knowing how to cook a roast, the said fine you do it, so I did, and they shut up. not that they gave me any credit. and not that I paid for the roast. but when you're right, you're right. and when you're wrong, you should listen and stop being a butt.