Oh good grief. For one thing, the 20 yr old shouldn't be allowed to discipline this child, because HIS idea of discipliine is abuse!! he could go to jail for that, and YOU would get in trouble for allowing it!

I do not like hands on punishment. I never touched my children cause I never HAD to, and I don't believe in it anyway. If they're brought up right, you don't need to.

I know his kids got a rough start, and their father is very lenient. Now with you being strict, they're going to rebel and rebel BIG TIME. But you are going to HAVE to have the backing of your boyfriend. He's GOT to back you up when you discipline the kids. Or else HE will have to discipline them the SAME WAY that YOU do. Because his idea of discipliine is NOT to discipline them and that's not going to work. The kids will run rampant, and all heck will break loose.

You need to have a talk with the 14 yr old to see why he stole your panties. it will be a difficult talk, but ask him if he feels more comfortable in women's clothes. Ask him if he feels more like a girl than a guy. Tell him there's no SHAME in how he feels. Tell him he's not alone, as there are thousands if not millions of guys who are going thru the same thing.
You'll find the right words when you get to talking.

You have a big job ahead of you with these kids, but I think you can do it. You sound like a pretty level headed woman, so just keep posting, and praying! LOL God bless and keep us posted, ok? Hugs, Lee