Jax, what I have done is write out what I want to say, then go back and re-read what I have written, once for typ-os and another time as if someone else was saying those things to me. I catch a lot of inappropriate statements and attitudes that way.

Making "I statements" such as "I feel... I think... It's been MY experience... In MY opinion..." also keeps others from feeling attacked. Making "YOU statements" always puts the other person on the defensive.

It's a good place to start.