I kinda know what you are going through my brother drowned in a lake that was cold they say he hit a cold pocket and went under. my mom and dad always said that the parents are suppose to go before the kids. My mom was heart broke it never stoped we always felt like half of her went with him. it was real hard to see my mom like that and trying to fell the loss of losing my brother was difficult my mom passed away 4 years after him and I believe it just got to much for her. but we all live day by day it takes along time to fell kinda okay you just got to remember he will always be watching out for you and that hes happy. that what gets me through the day knowing that he is happy.