If someone could help me figure this out, I would very much appreciate it.

It seems, all my life people have treated me badly and did not want to be around me. Granted, I am not a lot of fun or particularly good looking but I do try.

I have had bosses who were verbally abusive and abusive regarding work load. After months of abuse, I yelled at them "how could you treat me like this?" Now, I am unemployable as they give me negative references when I did great work for them for years. The work load would have required me to be there 7 days a week. My coworkers were unfriendly and appeared to be encouraged to be like that. Management favored bullies.

Some people from the office have tried to contact me to see if I am alright. But, I told them to go away. I want nothing to do with the place. There were not the nicest people either. The bullying was so bad that I have developed a form of PTSD that will not go away. I was not in a financial position to quit the job.

So my question is, how do I handle this in the future? This is a recurring pattern in my life. Advice that I have read says to just shrug off the bullying and to laugh about it with the bully. I was raised to fight back verbally. That strategy has not worked. I have also tried no responding to the bully but after a while developed anxiety, sleep problems and PTSD. I have written off all people who have mistreated me to protect myself but have no friends and am afraid to try to make new ones. I am not able to trust people anymore and do not even enjoy the company of others much. I don't want to be bullied anymore. But, I need to learn from my past and all I am doing is closing myself off from others. I need to relearn how to enjoy the company of others. Help.