Quote:
Originally Posted by Miswimmy1
I dont know what to do. my t told me, "as long as you will work, i will be right there with you," or something to the effect. but also said, "we are in it together, for as long as it takes." I am feeling like i dont want to work, that i am trying and i want a break. a break in our work, not a break seeing her. but i dont think i can hav one without the other. i cant lose her, but i also cant continue on. i am feeling burned out. i dont want to bring it up with her in case she leaves me. but i think she should have some explanation as to why i have been so unmotivated. so what do i do?
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What does your t mean by working? What is it that you arent doing? I had a possible new t call me and tell me that if i was to work with him i would have to do the work and not just come to therapy sessions. It was painful because my xT must have told him that this was my problem with hi. HE H e
never gave me homework and we never talked about me just coming to session and not doing the 2
Work. The termination phase is a blur and Im still left wondering what I did only to have to find out from someone else. But I still dont know and cant find out.
So my ad ice to you would be to ask what her definition of work is. I think her using the termination boundary as a so -called motivational technique is ignorant as it triggers abandonment fears, and a tually increases clinginess. Therapists appear to ignore that attachment issues are real, not a.choice to be dependent. We have an inborn attachment system, and when needs aren't met, in adulthood this system seeks to get what it needs and is activated into an obsessive like state when presented with the possibility of being abandoned. Tell your therapist that the relationship is work, as u know from trying to trust her.then learning that you can. Sorry for this, but we need to stop letting therapists decide what is work and how much progress we.have made, because unless it is openly talked about regularly from both viewpoints, you will always be afraid of if she thinks u r progressing or not and u may be surprised if she is convinced you arent progressing and starts talking about termination. What if you be come more attached because she is activating your biological system and then blames you for it? You present an excellent question and I hope you discuss these possibilities for your own well being, to educate her, and so u can come back and tell us what she says, so we can be educated and maybe all parties can figure it out. Thanks!
Work. I?