Quote:
Originally Posted by Hellion
I don't think its simple anger, but that is part of what I feel..I think it has a lot to do with my having PTSD since that makes me on edge so I am more likely to get set off. I didn't really have this issue as a kid I think I was better at suppressing things, in fact my suppressing of things probably increased my risk for getting PTSD. But yeah it is literally an intense energy surge because if something triggers me it sets off what is known as the fight of flight response also reduces impulse control. Luckily I don't bang or hit my head every time I get set off....but still enough to be concerning to me.
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I do understand the intense emotional surges ~
very well. I have PTSD myself, despite doing everything I could to avoid conflicts and mayhem (that was very strong and consistent within my family) as I was growing up. As a mid-late teenager, I aimed those intense emotions towards myself and often hurt myself. As a full adult now, I find myself blowing up on others like a kid does!
My point is that I do understand what you're describing. It usually strikes me when I'm with someone that I care about. A lot of times, I snap and bark loudly at them very quickly (it's like an immediate response, before I even think) ~ then, I get myself to take a deep breath and then another more slowly. Close my eyes for a minute or so...and be quiet (in a quiet space). If I'm still around my trigger, this doesn't work. I have to it quiet so I can focus on calming down. Then, I can go back to the situation at hand and apologize for blowing up in the first place.