I don't know exactly what is about to come out in this post. I know what I need to say, but I've said it to no one and I just can't quite bring myself to say it here. I feel like maybe I'm having some sort of young-mid-life crisis or revelation. Everything is just changing so fast.

I question whether comfort or excitement are more important. I wonder if everything I've ever believed about myself is real or not. I question what I mean, to myself and others. I question my direction and changing paths now is risky and terrifying.

I want to make a change. A big, possibly foolish change. I'm petrified of change. I guess, minus the details of why or how, this is my feelings as of now.

Funny, this is supposed to be my sanctuary. My say all without fear of judgement and yet I fear the outright truth or facing who I really am even in a forum such as this......