Believe me, committing a suicide on her is not fair to her either. Just think about the grief and pain that she will go through! How can you seriously think of putting her through that kind of stuff justifying yourself by the talk about "fairness"! She sounds like a good person from what you wrote about her; think about her before you act! Even an "unsuccessful" suicide attempt leaves permanent scars: think about what my ex husband went through when I overdosed. He went through waiting for a whole night at home with his close friend while the kids were having a sleepover (they were on a playdate and he did not want them to come home to learn that their mom went missing, so he told the hosting parents about my suicide attempt and they extended the playdate into a sleepover and took the kids to school with them next day), not knowing whether I was alive or already dead. Then when I was found and transported to the hospital by ambulance and put on ventilator for several days, he went through splitting his time between the kids (to whom he had to tell that their mother all of a sudden became extemely ill) and me, not knowing whether I would survive. Then for several more days he was not sure whether I would wake up or remain braindead. And that is an "unsuccessful" suicide attempt! Think about the scars from a "successful" suicide attempt!