Welcome to PC! I'm very glad that you found us. It sounds like you are having a really hard time right now and I'm very sorry for that. You need to talk to your mother about your feelings and make her understand that this is very serious. It sounds like she loves you and would only want the best for you. She will help you see a doctor and get meds and maybe a referral to a Therapist. You really need a therapist and you need to stop cutting yourself. We have a forum for self harm that you may want to post in and you might also want to try the Depression forum. The people in those forums will support and help you and you will not feel alone. Please start posting and keep us informed about how you are doing.