i really don't know if this is the right place! (i realise now it's a very wrong place, i came on this one for communication issues but i dont know why i thought that now :S)

my parents are religion freaks - sorry for the word - i went for a google search to learn the exact name, i think it's protestantism but i really am not sure. they kind of breathe the church. my mother just is not able to solve a problem without mentioning God and how "the enemy" brings us down and we should pray and believe we can be saved... it's not that i don't respect it, i do, but i think they should have limits. specially because they used to be catholic before and i was raised as a catholic, tho i never kept going to church after finishing catechism (also searched for this word, that study e do when we are kids you know?), i do believe in God but i think this should be for myself, i dont want to live at church and tho i have had thoughts that i would like to know some spiritism centers, i have no one to go with me. spiritism has the thoughts that make me feel more comfortable, tho i'm not against other religions and i like catholic, i dislike the catholic church. it may sound weird that i'm ok with both of these but i believe as long as you believe in God and know He's with us, its good, and i dont need to know secrets of the universe as for asking for answer on our spirits, so i'm fine with catholic you see? i need to live my life and dont worry and dont think of my spirit when my life is over - if i'll have more experiences, if it'll all end, or anything. if i think more on the subject, then i believe in the spiritism ideas. anyways, i was trying to explain but its not what i wanted to talk about so sorry about that

the thing is my parents dont respect my decision. they noticed i've been going through a hard time and tho i decided not to tell them about my girlfriend's parents going against me and that i cant talk to her anymore and i can even get arrested, i cant pretend that i'm all fine, i just can't. two days ago i spent the whole day without eating, and yesterday out of nowhere my grandma asked me if i wanted to go out to get something to eat, it was the first time i'd go out for months!!! and we were at the supermarket, and i almost passed out, she said i turned green haha. sure now we got a lot of cool stuff for me to eat while i'm at my room but, they know i'm going through something. during the day my parents couldnt come to see how i was because they were at some other city for the church - they are so different now from when i was a kid, i wish we had went out more before like they do now - only its all for church, some projects they have and places in other cities and stuff. so at night they came here with my mom's sister and a pastor from somewhere who's staying at their place (weird news for me but alright then), and as usual they cant respect i'm not into their religion, they said: lets start a prayer. put your hands in your heart... the pastor were saying stuff to my dad who would repeat it out loud so we all would repeat, and when they were done doing that, they said: now pray with us, and started doing some very weird noises i mean jesus what is that?? and told me to do the same but i didnt hah honestly, i am sorry if it's rude to any of you guys, but i thought that was ridiculous, for me they were trying to reach the power of their own minds as for believing, and it's not something for me, i respect they believe in that but dont put me in the middle please. and suddenly my aunt started crying like i don't even know like what, and then the pastor turned to me as he saw as wasnt getting any reaction, just tried to keep my head down and wait for them to stop, and when he tried harder to make me do the same, i said, man stop it cant you see how she is??? i mean look at her. then he tried asking if i was feeling better, i said i was fine and went to get my aunt a glass of water.
i don't want to be rude, i don't want to hurt my parents or to mock their religion and beliefs, but why do they do that? why put me in the middle? cant they respect me? they treat me as a child, that i can assure haha tho i'm 20, i know i havent got much and i'm not like an usual 20 years old person, but man...
my grandfather too often comes back at me shouting i'm an idiot, he even said i was a parasite once, and says i dont do anything and i dont have a religion and stuff. i always tell him: i have my own minds, i'm sorry if i disappoint you and you think that way, and i do believe in God but i believe for myself, not to show others.

i'm very sorry for the way too long post