Rose, you make some good points about "user" kind of friends. They do seem to latch onto kind people often, simply because they know a kind person is likely going to sympathize/empathize, and help them out. My mother is an extrovert but she is exceedingly kind, one of the kindest people I know of really, and she picks up so many of these people, to her detriment. I always wish she would keep her kindness but mix more iron in. And not infrequently, as you noted, people seeking kindness/help, may not be so kind themselves. Hardened, jaded, hustlers, just very troubled people, who knows on an individual basis? Have seen this too. (I ain't real young!)

I also understand about these not-so-reciprocating friends tugging on the heartstrings. The woman friend I recently cut most ties with was a single mother in a tough job situation, and I really felt for her. But when I needed anything, even just someone to listen, it was if she had blinders on that said "Me, all about me, don't ask about you."

You say you got to toughen up a bit. That may be so. I know I had to.

Hope I'm not overloading you with a second response, but friends is a topic I've been thinking about pretty often lately. The kind I'm thinking about are like the ones you'd want to have for a sibling or wish were family... and are so important, but the landscape can be difficult to navigate... ain't giving up, though, and I hope you don't either, and find the good friends you deserve.

Best wishes to you.