It is confusing, isn't it. I'm also sick of trying to find what's real. Hang in there! The bad and confusing days do pass.

Thats greatly written monkey. I interpret that as a feeling of consistent mind Fudge. Not being able to hold it together not because you cant because your trying but because there may not be enough glue to hold the parts together there may not be strong enough glue to hold things together. By glue I mean support or possibly self satisfying aprovement I know thats not a word I had to make it up. Basically not enough approveing of the self. One thing I will say is even if there is enough glue it is rarley strong enough so that parts that have fallen off may have been previously repaired bits that the adhesive has lost its ability to do any good. If it makes sense or not thats the way I see it. And by you I mean any of us so its not aimed directly at you.