Hi sweetie, I totally understand what your going thro, are you seeking professional help?
Smoking and self harming are slighty different things.. I was burning myself for months and have gone thro stages of self harm. The feeling don't go away. I'm no longer self harming but the scares remind me of the pain I felt when making them.
My point is please try to resist cuttin your self try a cold bath believe that is painful to but the good thing is you wont die. And please lock your window or go down stairs. Keep strong there is light and the end of very tunnel, it's just some of us have further to go.