It's because I am so detached that perhaps I think it is overvalued sometimes. (Which is why I would never have children).

I see people all around me that had bad things happen to them growing up. Or they lived in a tar-paper shack, the youngest of eleventy-billion children, with parents who were crazy/drunk/ill-tempered/strict/absent, and they also had bad things happen to them. And they have turned out "fine."

Now I use the quotation marks because "fine" is subjective and can be masked. Looks don't always tell the full picture. But I also don't think "everyone is a little crazy" either. Some people are clearly more jacked-up than others, and I don't think it all goes back to how they were raised.

If person A can be raised by horrible caregivers and not be negatively affected and person B can be raised in fair-to-middling caregivers and turn out to be a living trainwreck, doesn't this undermine generalizations about the importance of "feeling loved and valued", at least a little bit? And I don't see how seeing yourself as being deprived of love isn't a horrible indictment against your parents/caregivers. That's laying some pretty heavy blame. I guess for me to feel comfortable doing this, I'd have to know that my parents' child-rearing wasn't merely questionable, but that it was really really bad. Which would mean that it would be pretty obvious as such, and I probably wouldn't need a therapist telling me it was.