We're not simple, either/or organisms. How we respond to what happens in our life (father who doesn't talk much) may or may not be significant to any particular individual; if you "liked" it, felt comfortable and companionable with no talk (versus being scared because when your father didn't talk it meant he was mad at you :-) then you see out men who don't talk. Or, if it frightened you, you will probably tend to be anxious around quiet men, thinking /wondering if they are angry at you.

We do become our mothers/fathers, marry our mothers/fathers, etc. to a certain extent. It's what we "know"/are exposed to and then you add your personality and get "you".

Sure, you might have clinical major depression but we all have a percentage "depression"/mood combination and someone with 60% happy/40% depressed MIGHT respond differently than 40% happy/60% depressed but it is kind of like "under" and "over" achievers? My girlfriend in high school was not as "smart" as I was but was an over achiever; she studied and worked hard to make the best grades she could. I was an under achiever -- I did not study and slid through on native intelligence and wit. We were in the same math class and I got a D and she got a B. . . after calling me to come over (had to sneak me into her house, she wasn't allowed visitors) to explain how to do the math homework she did but I did not do (figured out on the fly but did not retain enough to do well on the test because I didn't do the homework).

That's why we talk to therapists, let them get to know us; the more they get to know us and our lives the better they can help us because they can see patterns as to how we have been raised and how we have responded to how we have been raised and how we have chosen things based on how we were trained/educated by our parents, our natural abilities or inclinations, etc.

Just like temperament (happy, anxious, sad, etc.) the attributes we genetically inherit (my sense of direction is good; I don't get lost and I do well in history, English and writing, less well with science and math; am better at Algebra than Geometry, etc.) and experiences we have in life all contribute.