how can it not be?

and borderline is so much bipolar

how can it not be?

how can extreme experiences not be passed down to emotions and ...

passed on again to relating to people....to loving....and mixing all the hell that up!

....the manic lover and the depressed maniac!

it's disturbing just a bit...

anyone know what came first?....I guess it's pretty different for everybody....or is it?

mania has given me situations and affectivity that just tear me apart to recall...

because ...maniac....went all arse up in the process...couldn't handle it all the love or whatever it's called

now I'm just seriously difficult and complicated....borderline

but it has to be ok!....right?

and this is what shits me about me...I always say it's ok...

when it aint

but what choice have I got?