THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR RESPONSES.

I have told my story to some extent her through my posts. But no one has told my H's story. It is not mine to tell but if I am going to ask for opinions from folks then they should know more about the two people involved not just the one complaining(me).

As for my kids. I told my H before we had kids, if he ever put his hands on our kids that would be it. Marriage over. He has asked me for permission to spank them and I say no. He doesn't like having his parenting limited by me, but I know what happened to him and I have made my point, so that will not happen to them.

Correct people who have come from just as bad or much worse do not always abuse the one they are married to. That is not an excuse. That is why I am having trouble making my choices.