Its been a long long time since i was last on here so feel free to ignore me if you wise, but for the last few weeks i have just felt so low its unbelievable, I cant see the point in getting up, I dont have any see any reason too :/.... And as i find it very very hard to sleep at night I try and get as much sleep as I can when I can as if that happens to be the day time thats when i do :/..... I have tried to get "professional" help but all they say is its a 6 months waiting list you will have to wait, but the problem is Im wanting to cut again and its getting harder and harder not to :/ I just seem to be slowly falling in to old habits again no eating, not sleeping, cutting, feeling like im going to cry all the time and to be honest I dont want to deal with it anymore but i know I have to as its not just going to disappear no matter how much i wish it too..... i have been trying everything for the last week to take my mind off cutting ive had friends come stay watch films talk to friends listen to music go for a walk but everything i try doesnt seem to help anymore it makes me stop thinking about it for maybe 5 minutes and the it slaps me hard in the face again as if to say "IM STILL HERE DONT IGNORE ME" and im slowly willing myself to give into it again just to make me feel something that isnt going to confuse me like all the other feelings at least pain is normally straight forward.....

Im sorry this seems to have turned into a rant so i will leave it there for know.