I'm sorry you feel this way, rainbow_rose. You know of course that I've struggled with my feelings for my Ts for years. At first I never talked to my T about them. Then I started doing it because I felt so bad and I needed help. I think Ts should be able to help you with your feelings toward them but I'm not sure how much it helps, as I'm finding out.

What about drawing your feelings and giving your T a picture? Or describing what the pain feels like? Mine feels like arrows piercing my heart sometimes. Some Ts don't want to "go there." Is your T one of those? My former T heard me talk about feelings for her, but then she wanted to move on to the way "she" did therapy. Whereas, my current T did IFS so the parts that had feelings for her were encouraged to speak out.

Can you write it out instead of talking, so your T has an idea of what you are trying to tell her? If the pain is perverbal, then it's hard to describe.

I am very sorry you feel unheard and unsupported when you try to process the feelings. I think I get that with my T too, because what's she going to say? The feelings are from the past, probably. Will she discuss that with you? I flounder around too. I try to say what's in my heart and my T accepts it, and then doesn't know where to go with it either. I feel like I have to keep repeating it to her, but that's probably because I need to do it. Maybe you have to repeat it to your T again, and tell her you wish she could help you process the pain?

Sorry my response is floundering around too. It's hard cause I'm in the same boat. I DO understand your pain.