thank you, rainbow. I know you understand (and I'm sorry that you do 'cause it's not easy) ... i've tried to do art... but she pretty much takes it at face value and said something to the effect that i'd already expressed those feelings and she already had an understanding about them.

doesn't my bringing it up again mean i need to talk about it?! that i need to go further and that i need help with that? the conversation seems to get shut down or diverted in another direction and by then i've already shut down and no longer have the energy to fight to be heard... then i leave and dissociate from the session and end up in a stuck place... again.

what's the point!?