Oh my god! I definitely get offended. I guess you have to know the circumstances. When I was working and having a really hard time with my job, which my husband knew, my husband decided it was his job to get me up in the morning so I wouldn't be late for work. I was often late for work. SO WAS HE. But he decided my job was the real job, the important job and he was afraid I would lose it. I was in a professional position and I was in no danger of losing my position for being 10 minutes late every day. On the other hand, he was repeatedly reprimanded at his job, and in danger of losing in due to his repeated tardiness.

Meanwhile, anytime I "reminded" him of anything, he always agreed to do it ASAP and then just did not. I rarely told or tell him anything twice, and many, many things have gone undone so I don't know how we both stay focused on me and what I am supposed to be doing. I have told him many times to "keep your eyes on your own paper" and that he has WET, "wandering eye trouble" which any teacher will under stand I believe. I believe in our case, since both of us are children of alcoholic fathers we are both codependent. The difference is I have been working to change this, and he thinks he is just "loving" me. I know he does love me, but sometimes I cannot breathe. I tell you with all of this that he is a good and wonderful man, who works full time and takes care of our home and our daughter. I do what I can and he does the rest so he has too much responsibility.
I guess I feel penalized in our marriage at times because I have gotten treatment for my anxiety and depression and most recently ADD so I am the designated sick person. But I believe in the theory that most marriage partners are pretty close in emotional adjustment and maturity. So I am resentful when he takes a parental role with me. It doesn't help our relationship.

I will read the article when I finish this post but I appreciate the thoughts because I am always trying to sort this out myself.
Meta