I can so relate to this, rainbow_rose. I have maternal feelings for my T that seem to die down, and then flare up again, and even though I've talked to her about them-- and she knows they exist-- it feels like she still isn't fully hearing me. I thought maybe I wasn't being clear enough, so I wrote something down for her to read-- and she talked about the most mild parts of what I wrote, but kind of skipped over the really intense, painful parts. I asked her if what I wrote made her uncomfortable and she said "no, absolutely not"-- but, yet, it seemed like she just didn't want to talk about my maternal transference. And, after awhile, it felt like it went away-- so I didn't need to bring it up again for several months. But, last week, I was talking about wanting to be able to express my emotions in front of other people, and I asked her what she does when people cry. Rather than just talking about what she does with clients (which is what I was asking), she described this really beautiful, nurturing scenario that she has with her friends-- and then said "but I don't do that with clients. With clients, I stay seated where I am and listen." And it just really hurt to hear that she gives exactly what I want to other people, but I can't have it. I have no desire whatsoever to be her friend-- nor do I wish she were ACTUALLY my mom-- but I do really crave maternal nurturing from her, in the context of therapy. I really have the desire for her to sit next to me, put her arm around me, and just let me be sad and cry (if I'm able to). But, for whatever reason, she's never responded directy to this desire of mine. She's never asked me why I feel that way, how it realtes to my past, if there are other things she could do to give me a similar kind of support, etc. I really want to talk about and process this with her, and I feel like she just won't go there. SHE thinks we have already gone there, but I don't feel like we have. I tell her something, she listens, and then she thinks we're done. But we're not. She's so great at processing things I feel with OTHER people-- my dad, my sister, my friends-- but she's terrible when I want to process something that is about HER. It's so frustrating! And I'm sure it frustrates her as well. I need to TRY to have this conversastion with her once again, so I actually just wrote out something that I'm going to give to her at our next session-- so we'll see. I guess, if she tries to dismiss it, I'll just keep directing her back and not just "go with it" if she tries to change the topic. I don't really know any other way of doing this.

With respect to your situation, you could choose to schedule a few sessions with another T for the sole purpose of processing your feelings about your current T. I don't know if you think that would be helpful or not, but it's something I considered awihile back (though I didn't end up doing it). If you want to just continue talking about it with your current T, the only thing I can suggest is just being explicit and direct and saying, in the moment, "I feel like you're changing the subject" or "I really need you to help me process these feelings. Can we spend the session just talking about them?" I think the more clear you can be, the more likely she is to give you what you're asking for.

I wish you the best of luck with this... let us know how things go if you bring this up at your next session.