Interesting question. In psych help in the past this was seen as important, these days no one asks and I'm grateful. I'm not in therapy but was when I was younger. I had problems here and now, and they wanted to talk about my childhood. The issues I had I could no way tie to my childhood unless you really made up some weird theory.

Some genetics plus my parents' own fears probably gave me a sense of unstable identity. They probably liked me fine, but they were so scared other adults would judge them if they didn't have perfect children. But this is the only thing I think is linked, also I think I do need the genetics for it. Note that this was not my main problem, still isn't.

These days if ever asked I say my parents were OK. Because they were for me. They didn't play mind games, if they were angry, they acted angry. If they got angry, I was angry back, because I kind of felt I had the same right as they did to choose what I wanted to do and how to behave. When I started to grow up I saw them as sort of naive and stagnant, but I never had a strong emotional need for their approval. I almost raised myself, when they didn't interfere. Lot of freedom in that.

My parents were kind of distant, sometimes angry, I was independent and if needed, oppositional, took no crap.

I'm not sure I would have done better in a warm and huggy home. They assume all kids need that. I was most happy when I had the house to myself as a kid. My parents never asked how school was or asked to see my grades. They never asked me where I had been. They just trusted that I did OK. And I did.

When I look back, my childhood is next to ideal. But try to explain that to a therapist. It wasn't mainstream so it just must have harmed me, right??? Like we are all just a blob when we are born and our parents shape us. I always had the idea I was me, since I was about one year old. If something shaped me, it must have been in a past life.