[quote=scorpiosis37;2596479I have maternal feelings for my T that seem to die down, and then flare up again, and even though I've talked to her about them-- and she knows they exist-- it feels like she still isn't fully hearing me. But, last week, I was talking about wanting to be able to express my emotions in front of other people, and I asked her what she does when people cry. Rather than just talking about what she does with clients (which is what I was asking), she described this really beautiful, nurturing scenario that she has with her friends-- and then said "but I don't do that with clients. With clients, I stay seated where I am and listen." And it just really hurt to hear that she gives exactly what I want to other people, but I can't have it. I have no desire whatsoever to be her friend-- nor do I wish she were ACTUALLY my mom-- but I do really crave maternal nurturing from her, in the context of therapy. I really have the desire for her to sit next to me, put her arm around me, and just let me be sad and cry (if I'm able to). But, for whatever reason, she's never responded directy to this desire of mine. She's never asked me why I feel that way, how it realtes to my past, if there are other things she could do to give me a similar kind of support, etc. I really want to talk about and process this with her, and I feel like she just won't go there. With respect to your situation, you could choose to schedule a few sessions with another T for the sole purpose of processing your feelings about your current T.[/quote]

I have experienced maternal (non-erotic) transference with all 3 Ts that I've worked with to varying degrees.

My first one was an intern about 5 years older than me (I'm 25 and she was 30). It happened from day one. It was very intense. I wanted to be her friend in RL so that she could fulfill the mom role for me in my RL. I told her my feelings the third session I had with her. This continued on for like 4-5 more sessions. I basically spilled my guts and she just sat there and didn't know what to say or do. Our relationship dissolved because of lack of experience/training and she referred me to her supervisor who is my T now.

I was able to keep current T at a distance and think logically for a few months. Then I told her I was having feelings for her. We didn't really discuss them but I told her it was similar to what happened with exT but alot less intense. She didn't pursue a deeper conversation.

I also see another T only for Asperger symptoms to work on social/communication issues. One time she was really sweet when I asked if I could bring my teddy bear with me and it almost triggered the mom thing with her, but other than that I'm unattached with her (thank goodness lol).

The maternal transference I've experienced has been cyclical. It gets better and worse depending on what I'm dealing with in life. I also want her to sit next to me, put her arm around me, and just let me be sad and cry (if I'm able to). I feel like if any T ever sit with me and even just put their hand on my shoulder that I'd break down and bawl my eyes out for hours even though I've never shed a tear in therapy after over a year of being there. It bothers me that she told you what she would do with her friends vs what she does with clients. It's almost as if she's teasing you. I would definately not appreciate that if it were my T.

I agree with the suggestion to have a few sessions with another T to process the feelings if current T seems unable/unwilling to do so. T's are human just like all of us here on PC. In my opinion, they avoid certain situations/topics in therapy because it makes them uncomfortable. Avoidance is a natural thing and T's can get caught up in it too, maybe even unconciously.