so desperately i want to relax....and writing this as my leg shakes as usual and my neck is so tense holding up shoulders that really only need to hang arms off.

cannot just let things slide....I'm a control freak in an existence I cannot control....no matter how tense I am and alert and no matter how much my leg dances all by itself.

I can't control anything....but I act like I can

somethin' inside my being is so determined....but whatever it is?... it just stresses me out!

...I just wish I never felt hyper-abilities...ever!

then wouldn't expect so much....when it just aint there

and just let it all go instead