i saw a lot of myself while reading the way you deal with all of that. it feels kind of good to relate actually because you managed to put into words how you react to things and i just get myself lost in my own mind. but you've lived a lot more and i feel like that because of my own mind, weird problems, i dont know. so i'd like to tell you to do talk to someone, and enjoy this time you have left while studying, enjoy the people you have around you, i really wish i had people around me and wish i was doing something and have a way to ask for help, at least people to talk to about anything else around here.
other than that, listen to lee! i tried to give my opinion and support as i couldnt not say anything. i'm watching your thread hope you have a great day