Oh I so understand this. My first and former Ts both said something similar at one time, like 'one day you'll manage without me' and each time it was like a knife in my heart. I couldn't bear to even hear the words. I couldn't think about leaving it was so devastating. I used to cry at night over it. I envisioned myself not surviving without her.

But you know what - I left both of them eventually. And it was, by and large, my choice. Former T did have to leave the agency but I could have seen her privately and choose not to. I survived the endings. The ending with former T was in particular very painful but I did come through it. I never thought I'd manage it as I have such a fear of endings.

I'm back in therapy but with greater confidence that this ending will not break me. It still hurts when current T mentions the future when I won't be seeing her. But I can hear the words now even though they hurt.

As the others have said, it needs to be the right time, but that time will come and you will get through it. Trust that.