If your daughter has a bed-time you may want to invite them over on a day that you both have off for dinner once a week and that's it. Let them spoil her with love while there. We made a rule of no new toys unless they are for birthdays or Christmas any new toys that come in to our home (except by us) are wrapped and put away for the nearest holiday. If the toys are at their house you don't really have a say.

Ask if their Christmas can be done on Christmas eve at their house. You will tape yours so the can watch it later. Halloween is your families this year but maybe they can help decorate the wagon or stroller she'll be riding in. It's not very nice to volunteer for in-laws to do work (hand out candy). I take it this is their first grand child. You and more your wife need to set up the holiday traditions.

Best of luck.