I'm back from my T. She said the last two weeks- wanting sex with friends, can't be bothered to eat, need to run everywhere, losing friends left and right, etc.- I've been manic. There's a first. Usually its "hypo". Meds seem to be okay, though today I'm all about tactile. How stuff feels- wind, metal, cement. I thought about flying off a balcony to feel the nothingness between me and the floor two stories below. I played "screamo" rock in the car and felt the vibrations all around me as I drove on the way over here- watched the images in the rearview mirror distort all around. I'm waiting to hear from Pdoc about med changes. Talked about when to go to PER. Not yet I guess. I'm still not clear on that. People are asking how I am. I'm still not me. I love this and I hate it. And I am a slave to the meds. An addict. My brain NEEDS the meds.