I don't know..... I feel like my depression isn't the worst of our problems..... Like it would be selfish for me to tell her "hey mom! Stop everything you're doing and take me to a T." I had my share of selfishness and I want to show her that I can put other people before my self..... Even if it is at the cost of my mental health. But I feel like I'm dying on the inside as I type this....... My heart is so heavy with so much sadness, I don't know if I can make it through the night.........or even the next minute....I need something to look forward to... I'm trying to convince my self to stay alive for my family (or would they rather me be dead?) and because I want to have a band, because I love music so much, but my furture is looking dim.... I'm sorry I tried but I have to cut again... :..(