Hey Faith,

Sounds to me like this is an alternative way to cope. You learned this as a young one and it worked, so during hard times it is natural we cope the only ways we know how. I would suggest telling the truth...there is nothing wrong with how you cope, it is all you've known! I would suggest to try and research different coping strategies and to talk with your husband, who will most likely be understanding considering the stressful times in your life.

If you're afraid to do this, is counselling an option? A counsellor could help you cope with your current stressful feelings right now and reassure you that you are indeed not 'crazy'. A third party professional may be able to help you to talk with your husband about this...They may also help you to find NEW coping strategies in times of pain and stress. You could also bring your hubby in if you feel you're having a hard time confronting the subject.

It is sometimes helpful to have an objective person with knowledge who can help us out. There's no shame in that. Just know that you're not a bad person..you simply got caught up in your coping strategies. I say it is better to put an end to it before everyone becomes deeper involved, though.

Telling the truth IS hard...it's one of the hardest things to do...wishing you the best.