I came to a realization earlier. It has caused me to feel deep pain and anger and hopelessness. I am not doing very good. I can't drink, I don't do drugs. I won't do them. I don't know what to do. How to process truth and the past. I don't know if I'm going to make it through this. I am hopeless. that was the one thing I had left, and now it's gone. I am empty.