Very few people understand, at least that I've experienced. I know that what I'm explaining is a fact, I'm not sure if my words are correct. When the attachment system is activated, it is like a massive driving force to secure a possible abandoning authority figure. It's not a choice, it's not intellectual.
WHen people tell you that you made a mistake, knowingly crossed a boundary, and will now reap the rewards for doing so, that is probably true. BUT that explanation is intellectual and I don't know about you, but it doesn't fit me.
I think that activated attachment system, that makes one feel compelled to be secure at all costs, maybe once worked well but it now isn't inline with today's society. It's a survival reaction that no longer works to secure an attachment figure, but it rather ensures that the attachment figure leaves.
You can tell your T, but if he is like mine, he will think you are just avoiding separation, and I think that is sad. Notice that you couldn't tolerate this feeling/fear and dissociated into another state.
I believe that when the attachment system is activated, that it engages state-dependent memory. Or, in other words, I think it brings up the past that we can't remember but that we are reliving when the system is revved up. In order to quell this system, trust has to be regained.
Nobody on Earth will ever be able to tell me that I was just dependent, needy, etc. and that I was just being borderline by being intrusive. What I explained above is absolutely true for me. The last four months of termination I was in this state and I tried desperately to control what I was compelled to do.
I am so angry that I was minimized to someone who is just dependent and doesn't want to do work in therapy. ******** on that. Not true, I don't care how many Ph.D's tell me who I am, I KNOW what is going on inside of me but apparently nobody else does.

Here is an interesting thing for you to try to quell your activated attachment system. I suspect you continue to feel compelled to make sure everything is okay with your T. I know he is throwing up boundaries that you are compulsively crossing, not realizing that he has started this and should have consulted you every step of the way and taken things slowly. Anyway, try imagining yourself texting your T how you feel. Then imagine your T getting your message, then pan out and imagine that you now see that your T is at a funeral of his mother/father. If you feel shame, just notice the shame, don't attach any intellectual negatives to it, and let it sit or let it slip away if it will. Allow your empathy to come through and be able to feel for your T's situation. I use this situation because my parents passed a way years ago, but I know what it was like and it was the best way to find my empathy. If you have another really sad/horrific story in which to place your T that would help you feel empathy for him, do so.
This worked for me, and empathy seemed to circumvent the attachment alarm. I was able to have empathy for my T and it took away the compulsiveness part of it. Why? I have absolutely NO idea. I know I don't feel empathy when the attachment alarm is going off. Maybe in the state and ptsd trip to the past, we hadn't developed empathy so we kept trying to get our needs met to no avail. I don't know. Try it and see if it works. Let me know, okay?