I used to have a terrible time when T went on vacation but now I can easily go a couple of weeks or more without seeing her. I got the strength to manage on my own. What I'm facing in October is that I will be in Asia for a month with no ability to access support by her or by anyone else I know. Knowing I'll be completely alone in regards to emotional support brings up some of that old fear. I KNOW I'm much better and I KNOW I'll be o.k. but having memories of my old fears of not being able to contact her hints that I could experience those scary feelings again. In January I cancelled my trip because I had a meltdown but back then we didn't know why. Just last week it finally came to me what was going on for me emotionally.