I'm wondering what you're looking for by posting this. What kind of feedback are you needing? What are you gaining by berating yourself?

These are the kinds of questions that my T asks me when I go through bouts of judging myself, etc.

Have you checked out the BPD forum? I'm wondering if there are some links there or perhaps others who have experienced this type of pattern (situation aside) and have worked through it and came out on the other side.