Sorry dexter..I wasn't very clear. The hair thing was only one example.

When he said he was pointing out my flaws so I could fix the problem he would be referring to things that he wasn't 'joking' about. For example, we'd wake up in the morning and he would comment right away how terrible my breath was, thinking this would be somehow helpful - meaning I might run right in the bathroom and brush my teeth. Or If I sat down to drink my coffee before making the bed, telling me I was lazy..is somehow helpful. Do you see what I mean? I can have this house spotless when he walks through the door and he will find the one thing that wasn't done and comment on it before he even says hello.

Now don't get me wrong...the criticism isn't constant...but it gets snuck in there throughout the day and there are no positive words to balance them although in his actions, like I said, he is quite the opposite.

He just called by the way asking if I'd like a deck built on the back of our house (we are having a house built). Its his way of trying to make up for leaving the way he did.

Jeez....reading this, he sounds like a (insert curseword). The thing is I know it stems from his own background and insecurities. I think he feels that he need to put down me in order to raise his own self esteem or something. But knowing that doesn't make it much easier to combat.