I wonder if part of the challenge for you in the midst of these discussions with your T is to pay attention to the relational aspect of what you are doing with T, and being mindful of that. The relational challenge for you might be to be able to respect the boundaries that your T lays out for you and to be able to accept what he offers you, even if it isn't everything you want it to be. Are these things that are hard for you in everyday relationships-- do people tell you or act as if you are asking too much of them, is there an imbalance in some way between what you give and what you ask for? [rhetorical questions, you don't need to answer] It just seems to me that part of what your T wants you to do is to engage with him in a more mindful and relational manner, and maybe that is something that you need in your relationships outside of therapy too. That in building stability with your T relationship, you are also building stability with relationships outside T. As you learn to tolerate the inevitable changes with T, you can tolerate the inevitable changes in relationships over time in your real life.

Just like every other relationship, T isn't always only about you. T is the other person in the relationship, and learning to respect what he is asking you to do, what he is asking you to consider, is a very fundamental task in all human relationships. People you are close to are going to ask you to change, they are going to ask you to accommodate them, they are going to tell you things you don't want to hear. To have happy and successful relationships, you have to be willing to engage in these discussions, and not just run away from them.