She divorced me, and I had no one left to blame. What really changed me was that I hit absolute bottom and had to start finding a true spiritual life. I went back through my past, what we call in AA a "fearless and searching moral inventory". Sounds like you've tried the "reverse" (of criticism) approach already. Have you read the post with the article on boundaries? It has some very good information that I think applies in your situation. Try to remember that all that criticism is not your truth, it is his truth, and it may not even be his, just his own coping mechanism. It seems like he does express his love for you, though it is not in the form you would like or need. Men in general don't like admitting mistakes, we are afraid others will percieve it as weakness. As exasperating as it seems, all women have to read between the lines somewhat. If you could find some literature on communication, it may help. Might even leave it in a conveniently conspicous spot, after you have read it yourself of course. My ex-wife read "The Road Less Travelled" by Scott Peck and it helped her immensely. Unfortunately, I didn't read it until after we were divorced. It is a very good book.