Hugs. I get this too. I'm feeling very similarly at the moment. I've craved a deep connection all my life due to early neglect and this has always transferred over to my t's even when I try my best not to let it. My therapy always ends up becoming about the attachment. Right now I think the attachment is mostly why I see T because otherwise I'm in a better place. I've come to think the process is about the relationship most of the time. It can't be separated from the trauma because it's natural to carry all those needs into the person who is there and listens. It's horrible having to face those feelings but I do believe there's healing in doing it. It's also probably the most painful aspect of therapy to face.