I also cut deep and I know telling you to stop isn't going to stop you from doing what makes you feel better. So I'm going to tell you I'm here if you need someone to talk to. Also after you cut and clean it put some butterflies or sterri strips(<<not sure if that's how you spell it.) on it and cover it with a band-aid with anti-bacterial ointment on it. Don't touch it for 2 days and it closes it right up and with my experience the scars aren't as wide or red.