But lost has been processing it extensively, so this doesn't hold water for me. She may not have been able to do it in the moment, but look at the careful thought and detailed description she has given of how she experienced this event. This is all incredibly useful information for her, and she wouldn't have any of it if she hadn't been forced to examine herself by pain.

There's a saying in Alanon that "It's not on a good day that we see ourselves." So I say forge on, lost.