I was taking a walk earlier, feeling good about my relationship with my T. I was thinking "it's not about her AND we have a close relationship." The two can exist simultaneously. Then, whammo, I thought how nice she is, and how well we get along, then I suddenly thought "But she won't tell me anything about her H". I burst out crying and there went my good mood.

If I were a T I think I'd talk about my family to my clients. I'm not a very private person. But I have to respect that, as open and genuine as my T is, and as much as she does not seem particularly private (she answered questions about her likes and dislikes, and sometimes talks about her kids, though not much) she doesn't want to talk about her H. It makes me angry but I have to accept it. Like not being more special than her other clients. Like knowing I'm her job though she likes me very much.

I am trying to use DBT skills and just observe what happened. I was fine, then my thoughts and feelings made me sad. I cried because my T is my T and not my friend. She doesn't have to answer any questions about her life. She's still the same sweet T who cares about me very much.

I feel left out. Those aren't new feelings. T shuts me out, not maliciously, but because it's her RIGHT to. I don't know where that comes from, in my past. My immediate response was and is, to cry. It's not about her or her H, but about me. It's still okay for me to cry about it, as I'm doing now.